Beauty & the Beast does not happen in real life. It’s a nonexistent fairytale. You will not change the beast back into the prince. The beast first has to change on their own, you will be destroyed in the process of trying with someone that wouldn’t lift a finger for you.
Narcissists lack the capacity for Empathy because Empathy is caring about someone else and sharing feelings through self-reflection. Narcissism is made by Attachment disorder through overindulgence and under indulgence by their relationships with caregivers and parents. Child abuse and neglect also play into the origins of this learned lifestyle. Fake emotions used on things that don’t matter while the child is unable to express themselves about their true feelings.
Toxic people are generally unconsciously making poor decisions that affect others. They are jerks but aren’t necessarily a bad person.
Sociopathic people are not smart, or charming, considered more sloppy in their devious acts. They lack empathy and a moral compass resulting in behaviors like being resentful, cold, no remorse, dangerous. Their impulsivity can lead to risky situations for themselves and those around them. Hostile, Deceitful, Purposely hurts others, Theif, Never sincerely apologizes.
Narcissistic people CONSCIOUSLY choose themselves over anyone else. Narcissists can also be toxic which will result in Cheating, Blaming, Intentional Provocation, Physical & Mental Abuse, Manipulation, Acts of Entitlement, and in some cases Pathological Lying. This person won’t feel remorse for this behavior, they think it’s normal and act as if they are “protecting” themselves.
These people will frequently use children as pawns to control their partner and use others to look after their children while she seeks admiration or more power over the partner. Manipulating children to punish the partner, alienating children from a parent, and doing everything she can to have as much control as possible.
Apologizing means nothing, it’s not sincere. After a time she will grow bored and indifferent, napping all the time when you could be together, being dismissive behind closed doors and then in public, she will be everything you want as long as other eyes are looking. Nothing is ever enough, ever, all part of her mental game to control you.
Warning Signs – Red Flags
-Too good to be true, like what you like without hesitation, aim to please right away before slowly dropping the act over time.
-Self-pity, whoa is me, poor me, the sob story no one ever appreciates me, needs saving from the chaos she creates herself.
-Lives in her own mind where she is the star and you are extra on set that is disposable.
-No boundaries, no respect for yours, no shame, no remorse for actions regardless of intensity.
-Hypercritical when it comes to you and everything you should improve but when it’s about her, it’s all a personal attack that you are wrong for bringing up.
-Pathological liar to strategically manage the perception of her own image. Pathological (caused by a physical or mental disease)
-Ungrateful, Dismissive of favors done for her but every little thing she does must be praised.
-Attention seeking, needy, demanding. Acting depressed to gain attention and make people feel bad for her.
-Treacherous loves betrayal. Cheating is second nature and comes naturally to fill the self-imposed void of attention.
-When YOUR Energy is depleted and YOU’RE out of money, she discards you like you were nothing. You’re the villain, she’s a hero.
-Shamelessness, Lacks Social Awareness. The win is everything, she gets the prize no matter the body count and the trail of destruction left behind.
-When apologizing she is ashamed that she got caught, not sorry about the transgression.
-Blows off partner’s achievements and goals due to lack of their own progress in life.
My Narcissistic Sociopath was diabolical in her daily actions to constantly beat me down physically and mentally. To the point that I questioned myself as to what I was doing wrong, I would flinch if she made a sudden move around me. I fell asleep accepting that she may come home and murder me in my sleep to get me out of the picture. Her Bi-Polar mood changes caused suicidal threats constantly so when she’s not in control of her emotion who knows what could happen. She had me so far down in the dirt that I could never see what she was doing to me, partly because I didn’t want to believe anyone could do that to another person. She would tell me every day how she wanted to kill herself and wouldn’t be happy unless I dropped everything I was doing to console her. She wouldn’t keep her doctor’s appointments so I started taking her and then all of a sudden things changed. Almost like someone calling her bluff and forcing her to get treatment for her illness. It was hard to determine when she was in control or not, when she was out of control it was bad and when she regained control it was a flawless transition so she could continue to manipulate me.
The fact that she is so insecure and fucked up in her own head to feel the need to tear others down is stunning. Trying to see the good in people and growing that has always been my weakness. While I have done nothing but try to help, it’s not my fault that she chooses to stay sick so she can use it to her benefit. With constant sacrifice when it came to my career, finances, and health and loss it still doesn’t matter to these people. When you give everything you have and she still wants to take more, it needed to stop. I’m not calling myself stupid, I’m not kicking myself about it, I was taken advantage of by someone seeking to use and destroy me. I learned that sacrificing myself is not a way to live life, it will end in resentment and lost time.
Filing for custody of my daughter away from this monster has been the scariest thing I’ve ever done, the fear of losing her mentally as well as physically. After my ex looked me in the eye earlier this year and told me she was going to slit my throat with the pair of scissors in her hand, I was terrified. I can only imagine it’s similar to standing on the wrong end of a gun, realizing your significant other is about to murder you in your own home. If she’s ready to do that to me, what would keep her from doing it to our daughter to destroy the thing I care most for. After separation earlier this year, it started to become more clear who was at fault and the lies have begun to crumble on her.
The lifestyle that other people choose is not inside your control, however, you can change who is around you. You are in control of your own life, as hard as it may be when it comes to decisions like this. This year has been about taking back control of my life and removing those tearing me down. No more fists through the wall, no more broken windows, no more swollen face, saying no to the constant abuse that has held me back for so many years.